This house is slowly collapsing on itself ever since you’ve been gone; life has been a whirlwind of lost time. The departure of you has created a void within me. I have realized that I’m more fragile than I once thought I was after you left me impairable by your destruction. I could never understand how such deep penetrating sorrow can drill into my brittle bones without puncturing the walls of my lungs, how my chest can be full of love and sorrow all at the same time to bear it all.
Time slowly escapes me; the only evidence of lost time is tainted behind my sullen eyes and the dark shadows beneath them where the ghost of you haunts me. I can feel misery slowly spreading itself inside of me, the heaviness of sadness weighing on my chest, remorse tugging on my shoulder blades, a seething longing building up in my throat of things left unsaid. A darkness has loomed over me, gradually spreading into my chest like a fatal poison bringing me closer to death second by second. A self-inflicted death, I don’t think I could ever stop loving you as your presence wraps around me like a second skin. Maybe love has always been a fleeting nature of a tender dying matter that could never be kept for too long.
The day you left, something shifted inside of me. I started tearing down the wallpaper in our bedroom and repainted it as if it could undo all the memories that were held within the walls. Sweet nothings scattered across the floorboards, I tore them apart one by one, hoping that your voice inside my head would ease away. I took down photographs of us, but your image lives permanently on the walls of my mind. I changed the sheets, but your scent has engulfed the entire house. I took the batteries out of the clocks because time has ceased to exist ever since you chose to abandon me. All that remains is the emptiness that has settled inside of me of all the things I’ve lost and loved.